bwg poem – digging me

NT - Concentric design

It continues to happen
that the girls that I’m into,
really digging, find me
at my lowest point
and though
they wipe my eyes
and help me up, it’s like
no longer are they digging me
like I now dig them.

I think back to the days
before I fell
when we ate spicy food
together and walked
from east to west
and watched the sunset.

I think back and remember
all of my wants in a girl:
how
I wanted her to be
coal black
with piercing eyes.
how
I wanted her hair
to form small sharp curls
against her head.
how
I wanted her to,
like me,
love the smell of damp earth
how
she would be exactly
like me.

…And then I saw,
I realized she wasn’t.
I realized she was
already a mom
and so I retired
her from my interests because
she already had a baby that
called her mama and
yet we still spoke,
hours at a time and I sent her candles
on her birthday

….but then I fell off
my game
and she saw I wasn’t
perfect neither
and she chose
to keep to herself
and her babe more
and I was back to being
alone.

I found out at my latest reading
that it’s written in the stars
that she will turn her gaze at me
and I will hold her babe
while she plaits my hair.
yeah, it’s written in the cards
that I will turn around in bed to find her
right beside me.

It’s written here
that the kiss she plants
squarely on my lips will be
more than just the tease that it is.
It is written here
that she continues to shine brightly,
that I continue to smile,
that we take the same path home
and will arrive at different times.

I’m just gonna wait at this knoll
in the road till she comes along
with her things and the babe so
we can come home together.

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